Abraham Lincoln: Renegade Ninja
by HerbalMan
Summary: Chives gets into a really cool adventure with who knows what! Lincoln (the president guy)'s story revealed! Set in California 1860
1. Chapter 1

Abraham Linolcn: Renegade Ninja

Cahpetre 1: Settin the sean

A.N. hope u like my chars! I worked relay hard on them.

"I was born." I struggled too write becos I was too tired from the hardcore party last night. I needed to write something to prove I was humen but a biography wass too hard. Mabe I cuold writ something elte instead. Lick a sceince thing! I regraped the pencil to write about cloud colors when... suddenly! Clasz ended! I wented back to my dorm where I wass alown bacoz I don't know why. Now I new for sure I woldnt pass the humman test because my ideas got killed dead.

MY name is Chives and Im mabee 2 years old and I live at this wierd place on a wierd iland were pepole get made into real humans. The island is really foggi and all the staff who make hummenz are really authority since they have too di work. After contemptlating my life in a not biology way I went oot too the shore. It was pretty and the sun setting bu really fogg like I said before. Also there was a crab, so I went laugh at that andwent back becaut u cant live outsid FOrEVER!1! lol.(AN I guess u cold if u were lick Survivor Man or somthing but that doesn't count cos he had a camraman!)

To be Continued

Ok now u now whats up ots time for CHATPER TWO!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Abraham Lincoln: Renegrade Ninja**_

Chapter Two: DRAMACTIVE DRAMaCTION!

A.N. Sorry a bout the title my spell checker wanted to made me follow "parts od speech" bu anyay heres chaptre 2 of

What I said Before

So affer I went lol at crab it turned night so I went to sleep. But then some rally weird stuff happoned! Instead off normal bells walking up everone emerjenci bells did! "EVERYON HID OR EVACULATE COS WHERE BEEN ATTACKED!" A guy shouted who was paid to shout sinse speakers werent invented yet. Somehow this didnt feel so scarry even tho I new it wass dangeros, but after all that tim when Linford the Fencing Guy said "reel humons know how ot fence" and the Nudoty teecher said "real humans appreciate good curves" and the Mathulus teacher said "real hummans know how to find area under them" it annoyed me to much. I wantad to see it all fall don. I stepped into the hall where alls the noses was comin from and fake panicked around till I was clear. Than I went lookin too see who was invading the iland. It was...

TO BE CONTINUED!

Ha I bet your all wondering what happens next! Find out!


	3. Chapter 3

Abraham Linen: Retrograde Ninja

ChPter Thee: The Imperial Voyage (lol)

AN Aslo sorry bout the short chaptars Ill make a good one now

When I crooked my head around the pillar I hid behind I saw... A BUNCH, OF SHIP GUYS! They all had a ship beached on the beech and they ran around super threatiningish and scarred the crab off :(. Even tho I was sad from no crab I was curios and wanted too join them. But then! A ship guy saw me an ponted me out to their captain, who was an old exhaled looking guy. Then they started mumbling so I leaned my ear into the pillar to listen: "Is he won off the captives?" The Gradios Guy aksed. "Yah prolby."apathied Ship Guy. The Adios Captain Man approached me, and exscreamed wit hands in air "U ARE LIBAERARED!1!1!" I was shoked in surprize "So the invader guys arnt evil and mean?" I sputtered to myself but relay quite so they didt hear. Then they guy talked again "I'm the empeoro and I was on my was back to Cape town bu I raned into this island so my pepole and I claimed it. Plus I decided to go the extrA yard by siezing all the operations here. Do u want to come?" He emporered. "OMG!" I said in a way that implied sure. "Wall then I guess ots settled yull be the new First Mat." He said as he ponted at the old Mat and fired him. I did a happy at being swooped away from the island, now that I've ben liberia from Jerk Artifiscal Humwn creation factory School I cold be frends with the Emperer off AMERICA!1!2! I rigathered my mind and got my things which where a fancie tie and a weird coin I didn't kno anythin about and than we setted off. The water was wet and plasid which made the emulating falmes of jerk humen schol seem relay pretty. But then I turned ovar and saw the sunrise was evan more prettay sins there was merucary too guide are ship home.

...to be continued...

Did I paint a butifual picture in you're brans or what?! Where does Chivet end up in Ch 6? Find out in chapter for of...


	4. Chapter 4

**Abraman Lincern: Runagrade Ninja**

Chepter 4: California (AN sorry I cant thin of a joke this tim I gess CalifonAs jus to dry for me)

So it truned ot that being first Mat meant basically bein servitude slave servant to the Empower bu I gess thats ok sinse there are actual slaves to and they haves it way worst. An example of this is when Mr. £mperior mad me talk to him SEVEN TIMEs even tho I new from Linford that conversarion gets u killd. "First Mat Chices, go issue this decree" he regaled, handing me a pice of peper. "Oh, and another thing (AN lol gettit?) Go fire everyone who u dont lick or breaks a rule becos they might start a muetiny oterwise."Ok." I sad, bu I wass gettin kinfa tired of this emperwork I relay wantod more to writ about cloud math evven though I was alsready freed form school it wos still cool. I waked oot on deck ans I looked rel hard for anny suspicios people to frie. Bu then I rembered I hads to issue the decri first so I ahemed and said:..."Bh the decry off Empowee Joshua Norton in the Year Off are Lord 1860 all pepole who call the grate sity of sam Fransicso by the offensiv nam of "Fricso" will be hungexecuted and then there estate will be find." But then I oslo rembered to give it a pizzas ending so I added "!1!1!213!" After it. Now I could tall all the deck people felt conflitcted. Nokne off them relay wanted too say fricso bu they was all contraductory so they did wantad to do it bu only a littel.

MEANWHILE

Back at teh inmolated beech the crab was thinnin "why do I go on land evar if I breethe watur?/?" And then a bird piced up the crabe and eated it then the dum idot crab thot "oh" and died.

BACK AT SHIP POV

Chives went hyper productive and started firing bad sailors bu wass to hyper productive becos he almost ended up with no one but empty. But sinse Chives crazy and recklace he didant care and went to First Mat study room and wrote cloud. "A Treatice on the Colours Off Clouds in teh Sky" he wrote british becos the island was full of abusive mean who didt teech english right. A knock noced on the door. Chibes keeped writing "...The Son and all illumincest objects in the sky will tack oan a yellow hue assuming tat he scattered blu lite is less and week than uncatted emit yellow light. A dark reflective or shadow objet vill..." The knock knocked agen bu LOUDER. "Go away rome service I dont need u yet!" He creamed, bu than rembered hes not in a hotel and got embarsed so back to writin I gess. "Shadow objack does lokk blue in sky sins teh direct yellow light is less and weaker than the introdeuced blue. So that ibs why far montans look blu bu far clouds still ok wite. Teh end" He wrote but by then he forgoat the knock and slepted.

TO BE QONTINUED!

Oh no who was knock?! Did ship muttony?! Will Chives Phd with writ?!1!1!1 FIND OT!


	5. Chapter 5

Abram Lincorn Renegade Ninja

Chapter fifa: Calyfornia II

"Noce noce noce noce NOCENOCENOCE!232!156242!" The door said until I was awoke up, and up. "Eoin" I said yawny (I didant want ot deal wif consuquenses of not answering noce), bu I had no choice. I colfered to the dore only half awake and with entese head acthe and I politly opened the door with a powarful Yank that slammed a whole into the wall. "OMg!1!2!152537!*()₩£¥£ ¿¡!" I OMGd at alls the mess and coalition that formed ovarnight.

Are ship had been highjacked!#!#! ! It had graffitis reading "Fricso sux", "FRICSO RULS" and ""i fricso'd ur mum" alls with harable spellin and the ship apparently reached Californio for a few ours alsready so their wass a parking fine tax fee on the door foor huge bucks!¤! So I this is wat Amrika is rally like, I thoughted dissapointed At the graphiti and texas so I Colfered back to asleep and let Mr. Impurer deal with ot.

To Be Continuied!

I hop ur ok with this extra shrt chapta sins u got a real buckbang on the last one u ppl are so priveladges these days.


	6. Chapter 6

Abra man lincher: born agen ninja

Chatter six: Melloncholey (bu only for a bit an lik math inspired no goth emo k?)

AN i'M thinking of makin a game ver. Of this relay EPIC storay so bee prepared also any idees or suggs. Are vilkom!

Now I new I wass in fore it now... the ship was all graphite and vandalised ANS sinS i fried all the pepole I coldnt mak anyoen clean it up so I had ot do it myslelf... when empire Horton woke awake he swa wat happoned and order me his DOBLE INDENTURED SLAV SERVant!0!1!1!235813 and that meant less m¤nie and good. Bu than I sayed too his "no mr. Impurish Nortonne i can fix" he eyeballed (AN hehe...) me dublinously lick not beleef but befour he cold say mean reprimanneds Irished of to the keel with all the fried pepole! accept it turnse oot it has nasty große ew yuck innit to. So i unfried alls the guys And raned out az fast as I cood so I cold life in america more. Now thins wass betta ans the goff melonkollie wich was sad efore now was good math inspire malencholy!2134 so i wenat to wok.

"If u had slaves picing meloncholies for u but then tey eated som pearportional too how fast they pice collies, how many melans are not eaten when 100 melanskollie are piked" bu I coldn't math the prolam becos the inspire only lastod a few seconds. I crumbled the paper and went ot to enjoy the brisk and fog off *fricso* (say in asteriks so no on here u) bu there wass noting to do sins it was Sunday (lol opps) so I frended with Nobility back on the parked ship.

MEENWHILE IN CD

Lincon was so bissy stressin about the South ans gettin wrinkli that he almost didt noice the beepy beeper bepin "beeeep", it beeped. "Hey! WATS THIS BEPIN MEEN!?/?" He whistled lick a t-kettel to no on in particular sins he was sooooo impotent anyoen wold anser. Then a cupple years latter congress past a bill that sed u can talk to him so this on guiee did. "Yessur mr. Pesent that beepin iss frome the werd coin u planted to trake Noroton" "HMMm..." Linen hmmed chirpishly ans then desided "No. I will NUT let this mann corrup the country wit anodder monacry!111!" He shreked lick a mouse that got stepped oan and called congress so they cold invent him a aeroplane.

TO BEING CONTINUED!?

OMG guys that wass goode wasant it? Linkerns alls angary for no resin and howlong will it take Congreß to airplane? Find ot!#!


	7. Chapter 7

Abraman Lincoln: Belgrade Ninja

Chipotle Sven: A seekrit of the passed?

Athor's Hote: omg?! I canst belive it neither! I lobe u guys(but not lick that!)...

"Walcom too my adobe!" Emperer emperered at the hug expense of SF. "Wow u relay most of done somtin right to get alls this" I remarkled with inpression. "Ya I gess I have connetions lol!" Resplonded the Empire while eating a hot doge frankfurther(AN sorry I forgoat this wass before Amrika went all mean on germiney). So I went around too my knew house which had all the other sailor pepole innit too bu actually they were his noble Tittle people lick I said befour And slumped on bed. Hey Edwin(A.n. Edwin Booth the famos actr guiee is a Norton frend ok?) I bet im smallur than u." I sad, makin small talk. And it turned ot I waß only lick 5'11"" compared to his 5' 13 inches! So I winned a mony and now that i knew Eichen outsmall anyoen I retried to my rome.

MEANWILE

ABRAMA Lincoln was sittin in his piesidental throwne thinnin mad bout why Congresz won't do anything fast and Lincern had anouf and explaned "OH SHOOT ME!11231!262!5!26!3=!" He callioped with shrill but then a congress scintist came and said "it ish INVENTOD! Oh and by teh way u should baned the demorcrates party they kept fitin us." Linen hmmed agen and said sure bu there was no tim so he made Sciense man in charge and got in the arplane with some musterios woman...

MEANWHILE CRAB

It had been nearly a day which for crabs is lik fifty ears so the crab kids who were sad with no parent were adult now and capeable off revnage huntin a bird for revange. They used A sciense beam they fond to beam themselves wit FLY POWARS! to kill bird. It wass epic search')/chase sean until they ot found bird!ق! And than fitin happened! They started fightin and the bride got smug except the crabes aslo gots SUPPER STRENGTH POWARS! So fightin the bridge was essey. They all flanked the bird and was abbot to kill whenn...,...

TOO BEER CONTINUED!2416!6!4!4!4!63!相

So guys wat do yuo thin? What is dramactic crab dramation about?! Fined oot SOOON#!


	8. Chapter 8

Omaha Lincoln: Renigade Ninja

Chaptrez 8: The mysterios women

AN the game is goin to be sooo cool!

So back at our hose with the nobily guys thins was gettin hecktic with all of them fightin ovar teh last mattressbed but lucy for me I stol abunch so I wold have one always(except I wase asleep so I didant no this) wan all of a sudden a earthqauke shaky rumble went all shakin the hosue it was an air raid!212! The airplane landod on teh roof ans... Abraham Lincert steeped oot wif a bunch off security guys and mysterios woman! Then theys all ranned into the hose and confrontated with Enpire jorton!## ! Mr. LInen tweeted words sayin "Joshua Naruto I hereby sease your teritory!" Ans The Empower was sooooooooo mad he didant evan say anything. But I was absolutly shoked I needed to know what was up soon i said "mr empire, are u an enmity off the state?!" Bu he still didant say anythin so alls the mobiles and me ranned oot and stared. It was cold out becos night. "my WIFES will be runing THSI PLASE NOW!1" he bansheed calmly and the women waked up front. "This is my wife Marry Tod, and my otter wif And Halfaway, ans my other otter wife Martha Washington." She said and the wifes started owning the place real quick. Personaly i thot that wif "ann" waß dressed lick a sultan and I woldnt go out in public like that bu than I rembered "NOROTON IBS IN EXILE!" I exscreemed to loud and nobiles got scarred. I coldnt wait arond anymore it was too dangeros so I went moved up north and became an Oregano(AN Ive been waitin for this won LOL!) for it all to blow up.

That was some sad intense wasant it#! Is Chives forevar organ? Why does linkoln and norton hate? What happoned to bird?! Find ot soon!


	9. Chapter 9

Abram Linkoln Runigate Ninja

Chapter Nein: Notron in Exile

AN I promise Ill get back to crabe soon ok?

While I was in oregone I got a cheep apartment in a caved oot spruce tree and than mostly didant do nothing other than sad about being away from Norton. But I did half fun makin the gaz stashun pepole follow my commando lick SLAV SERBS!#! LOL! But seriosly I liked the empire but I wasant shure if I cold hang around him now that he's GOVURNMENT WNATED!

MEANWILLIE

Back ot DC the sciense senator guy wass bein a euthless dictater prezidant ans the affects were startin to travel aroond. First he mad it ill3gol too work 6 days a weak and that relay hurt the economy then he made the south illegal and when alls the pelice showed up there the South got made an quit. "NooOOOOO!1!1!2" Linen thot telepathic in hed as he cold tell that millons of pepole just left the onion. "Thats it Im gone to go fixs the Whit Haus u wives gotta work a lone now!" He eeeeeeed hypersonic like a bat. "BY LABIAS CORPUS IM GONNA DO SOMTHIN ABOUT IT" and he stormed of leavin his Occupied noroton to the eifes.

BACK TO CRABE FIGHT

And the bird wa§ almost kill whenn... THE BIRD EXPLODD AN IDOT CRABE CUM OWT!1352=×!3!4! All the kid crabs OMGd and by this pont they had mad grandkid crabes wit each oter and they O'MGd too. "No time for etsplain" crabed origanal crab. "I faked bird eet so u wold sciense powar no we gotta go QUIK!"

Wow who wold of thot the crabes were so smrt? WHERE WILL GENUIS IDOT CRABES GO?! Why dit scintist man betray Linen?! Find out!


	10. Chapter 10

Abrajam Lincoln; REnegatre Ninja]

Chapters 10: Natuto still Exile

So Lincent was own his way to DC agen wich was relay hard this tim around sins the areplane exploded in the landing so he had to walk. But then he relised that it was june so he hade to go to each schol personally and gradute the studans or it woldnt count!121! "Oh no!" lincoln Linkened kinda lick a tuning spork becos he new that no kids grduating meant even worse ecomony. "Well then I gess Ill just have to make some sacrifases." He said but in his mind so it soundod normal. He got up and started walkin back east. Chives was still doing noting but Nortonne who was like a prisoner in his owne hosue was bein all super cool leading up a resistence. "VEVO LA REVALATION!13467! #$1356!" Norton exclaimed bu they Lincoln wifes wasant having any off it. So they detained him and went to slepp some more. Except efor MArtha Washinton who quiet sneak up to prison Norton and sayed "Hei empire Im not actually a linen wife see"?!q" ans she showed a badge "Im actually Maret Washington of the WASHINGTON DYNADSTY!1! and Im rtryin to reinstate it so if u halp u can get the west half aND iLL take east." She whispered so not to walk up oter wives. "Oh ok" Naruto replied and they fromulated a plans...

MEEN While

The crabs were flying for ours of days until they got to Ockupied Notoron territery so they cold give Chives the siense powars to but he wasant!1!1! Genuis crabes wantad to purse chives but they were to old and retired to Florida. But then they left... THE SIENSE BEAM WITH POWARS ALL ALONE ON THE GROUND!25253_÷ and sins they droped it from relay hi up I heard it fall and shook the needles of my apt. It was a race against time to get it befour anyone else so that the world woldnt be ruined by evil pepole wit seince powars destorying all everything(AN I#m trying a be more descriptive is ot working?)!

WOW SO CHICES IS BACK IN TEH GAME! BUT WHAT WILL NOTON DO?/? HOW DOES THE LINCOLN WALK GO?! FIND OUT!


	11. Chapter 11

Abraman Linkin: Renegade Ninga

Chapter 11: the Rases to Places

AN my stupid spell pecker puts red on everthin so ill fix it in this chaptar! I hope u fans understand.

Lincoln was busy walking around to dc but he whisnant able too going without food and sleep forever so he hotel's after a day. "Welcome to CHEAP HOTELS where every room costs only a schliing!" Desk guy said but cleart didant lick his jobe so. "HmmMMmmm" Abram hmm'd just lick in chaptar six so IF U HALFNT READIT GO DO THAT NOW OK? But anyway he mummed becos it was wierd for amrikan hotel prices to be in metric units except Linen had no choice since it was alsready night And a scliling still isnt much in ameriland neither so it was ok. "Ok" linkern oked but relay high piched and it broke some things. "Yuo know u have to pay four that to" hotell guie said but still didant rally care to musch and linen went to room. It was super creep with all the suspicos but i gess thats what u get for a scliing these days LOLwinkwinkpoliticalcommentary!

Lin Colonel went unpack his things whenn... A GUY STOLES IS HAT!362537! "BY POWAR OF PIESIDANT GIV ME BACK MY HATE!" Abram expatriated sooooo loud but they guy was just like "no lol dont u kno ur not pesent mr. Congress scintist man is lol" he lolled. And now Lincoln want sad cos he coldnt precedent his hat back. Linert thot about all the stress that got happoned to u wen u where present and desided that mabe he woldnt be pesent no more. So affer sleeping in teh tiny jotel bed that woldnt even hold one wife he checked oot and dobled back to Norotonland.

BACK IN OREGONE

I needed to Californa fast but how?/? Then i fugured it out. "HEY JOHN!1!1122" I elled wit loud so john showed up becos he wase own tour bacoz people wnat signatures of him becos hes famos and I telled him I needed back to califonis soon so he stoled a car becos hes crazy lick that but I didn't do it so it was ok. The car wasnt relay good it was a covared wagon lick in teh movies but then Hohn riped the cover of so it wase a... CONVERTIBAL!1!2!" "Grate now we can travel in fast AND style!" I remarkled loud over the wind and we drove of.

Mean While

Martha washington worked relay hard in covert to bustle Norron out of house arrest. It was relay hard work wit lock picing and secret negoshiations anout what to do when they was finished and after all that hour of gruntin and groanin they snuck outsid befour Linkernal wifes wake up. Then they didant do any thing becos night. But in they morninh they was gonna assembly an army of nobiles and missleanious guys to FIGHT LINCERT WIF!3 Also they didant see this at teh tim sins dark but i was comin up on them reel speedy in the cover table! So I did a quick flyby grabe on the siense beam but than JOHN KEEPT DRIVING! so after a cople minuets i figured he was bissy so I bailed out off car. "CRASHBAMBLAMBOOMOUCHSLIDE!1!" the ground sad as I hit and tumbled and then...

TOO BE CONTINNUED!111!1!111!

THIS IS GETTIN SOOO TENSE I THIN ILL HAVE TO END IT SOON BEFOUR THE TENCION EXPLODDS!


	12. Chapter 12

ARAMAMN LINCOLN; RUN OF GRADE NINJA

CAPETER 12: ALMOST THE FINAL BATTLE

AN Someon told me too HOLD DON SHIFT REEL TITE WEN EXCALIMING! so i will.

I got up from after the ground tumblr ans I saw... NOBILES AND CONGRESSERS FROM ALL OVARY COMIN TOGETTER FOR A FIGHTHT! E!#E23E"QR ! They all congragated and had a bunch of {epole i nevar saw before and all I cold do was left wondering where all these fighters got there idea frome. Then and showed up and she silenced all the forces on her side wif a eevil glair and she said "EMPIRE NOROTTEN U TRYED AN ESCAPE! ! U WILL DI! 3 #ASQDR #" Ans se wase gonna send her an Merry Toads's armies to fight sins they linen wives arent relay font line pepo;e LOL. And Notron appeared himslef from out of the crowd and I cold tell he was looking for Maret except I didant know they had a alliance yet so. But Marteh wasnit there becos she wasnt even a strategy person lick her sistars/wifes in laws. She was in side enjoying the fruits off victery and also some real fruit too. See it actually turns out that Maret is a mercenary hoo didant lick either side much so she made them fight so she cold rethrown. Then the fitin happened.

All of everyone started moving in like an imploshun (AN thats a backwards exploshun btw!) and i saw a bunch of people i didant know becos there was so many and aslo it liiced like everyon was unarmed wich was prettay wierd. But than after the imploshun happond I thot to myslef that mabe norton needed a help of two so I took the sciense beem from my hand and scinced it at me ! And I felt the MASSIVE POWARS goin inot me and i thot "thanks crabes lol" and I rushed right in. I tryed usin my powars wit discretion sinse I nevar had powers before and I didnt want to aaccidently go to kill jail for killin. So mostly I went around usin sheeld and only puncing people real light. The fight went on for hours until everyones boady was lick a twister and then evryone keept fightin even after that. Also i saw that Marie Tood mad her kids fite and i thot it wase rong doing that so I didant hurt them. But then... LINEN SHOWED UP!12! ! ! Q! And he sad "GUIES STOPE FITIN I NEvar sholda GONE POLITIKS AND LEFT MY ORDER NOW ILL WILL GO BACK AND BE... ABRAMAN LINCERN NOT RENGERADE NINJ..." and then he stoped becos I roundhose kiked his head and it RIPED OF! and everyon freeked out and than I frekked out bacos aparently i was the only on hoo didant undersstand linen shrills. "O'GM!" lincoln wifs omg'd; "OMG Lincert wase a ninja and aslo DEAD!" MArie said in shok and everyone nodded in agreement. But I new even after lincert's kill they wold keep fitin so I wenat to restore govurnment on my own.

TO BE CONTINIED!$!

YEAH A WHILE LOT HAPPONED JUST NOW BUT WHAT WOLL HAPEN NEXT? FIND OUT NECKS CHAPER!


	13. Chapter 13

Abrahem Lincoln: regegade ninja

Chapter ?: AFTER MATH

AN i forgoar witch chapter it was ill say its for ok?!

So as I predicated Noroton and Washington kept fitin back at fricso but I was alredy gon. Lookin arond I saw the dry dessert stetching on for MILES but then suddenly it stoped and turned into a LUCIUS PARADICE! and i new from that i wase neer navada and i happied at that and kept wallin. But i was kinna hungry an sinse i rambled my way off from civilizashun i piced up a cactos and eated it and i wasnat hungry anymore but only cos it made me have HALLACALUSIONS! Oh no now I lost all my didaction to my caus and i jus went round lolling at everything and rhen i tripped on a cactus an cut my leg open! "ow!" I screemed screming and i thot, what if i stayed at that cheap hotel right their? But my pockets told me i didant even have 1 schlong to pay with. So insteD of getting a nise place to slep in i hand to bunker up wit al of the cactuses ans I was stil lollin like lol.

LATERR

Then i woke up agen but then somthin came oot off the sky! It was!... DECAPITULATE LINCERN HEAD!5!4!5!6!43 And it flew around the earth abunch of times and than hit me in head! "OE!" I entailed still wondering mabye if it was hallasination but it was real. "Wow u wen't relay far lol" i said to hed pretending it was not a linen head but insted somthing i cuold talk too. Then I thaught hmm alot. And I hmmed some more looking at the sun and cactus making a pretty setup. Then i thot. "Oh I KNOW WHAT to do!" I interjectioned and it echoed alot. "Ill use my powars to fix Linkernal!" But i relišed that i neded his hole bodie to do that and i didant. But before i cold even sigh complaining i got telezapped into...

MEANWILE BACH at the THROWNE

Evul congers scintist mn stood sitting on his thrown thinking good thots about how he helpad the country. When an advisor told him that the civil war began!1121! "Oh no i thaught i was being a good president what did i do wrong?!" The advizer said. "Well for one when you evicted all of the democrat (Authers Note back then the south liked democrates more not lick now LOL!) people the southe did'nt like that. He went on and on about how they felt unrepresented and it made me really bored so I fell asleep. But then a beping nose woke me up! It alerted at me the presence of... NINJA!1!1!1!1!1!1!11!1!1!1!2

To be Continyed?

What do u think of shoking new character devlopement on Inter im president? Cuz im pretay inpressed myself! Stay around to see what hapens in ch 4!


	14. Chapter 14

Abrahem linncon, Renegade Ninja

Haptwr 4: THE A CASE RENEWED

AN Lets get into this Juicy stroy!

I got telezaped into an OCEAN! And I kept fallin under the water and it turns or that that ocean waiter gave me a headache becauz of all the salt and it was chonese water so probly alot of MSG TOO! LUckily i had the Lincoln had in disposal so i took turns with it on who was stuck under water and drowning vs who could life. It workd pretty well to! Cause i was tredding water and didn't di until I fond an... IslSLAND! IT was really tiny tho, it had only 0 trees on it and at hi tide it was 10 square feet of sand. At lo tifde it waz 11. Then Linken head and me stoped gawkin and got up out of the water. A guy wast here ans he was dreesd up lick a samari frome the philippines or wherever... "Lol are u guis taking advantage of your downhill advantage?" He asked as if we new what that was. "Here look. he said and handed us a book. Lincon head and i were suspisios but just as I was about to fling the book inot ocean, climb on top of the weirdo guy and dive off of him swomen away shoutin FREEDOM,... ORE SAMARI APPEARED!1!2!1 It was out of noweher lick MAGIC! But even more amazing was that all the samari were actually ninja and they were hiding for secrecy! Except the first 1 who was actually still a samaro so they had a fight. "I kno why u come here." Wisest ninja said. "Good cauz i don')t." I wisecrack back but I made real sure not to threatin his wise wit mine. Thhey lead us down a hallway to a huge plase and said "This is were we store all the souls from pepole joining the order; we do it incase something like this happens." Then he took a soul jar ans three it on the ground like a mazeltov coketail and the soul flew around until it hit Linkons head. Then. He got relay glowy for a second and then ALIFE!(AN pretty amasing right?) So alife lincern head and I went of ready to leave the iland whenn... THE NINJAS TRAPED US WITH BUROCRACY!6 and there was paperwork piled high too the ceiling so much it crusched together and if u took a paper out it wold collapse! Then they ninja told me to DO THE PAPERWORK! I knew I was domed. But then Linen made a glitter of hope. He took a paper and made paper shurikens out of it and thru them everywhere... then ninjas got out guns but befor they coud fire lincon kiked the paper tower ovar! And we rode the paper wave if bounced back up ans launched us away 10000000000 million mules/hour!

To be continuer!

SOW WHATLL HAPEN NOW EVERYTHINGS BACK ON TRACK?

FIND OT!


	15. Chapter 15

ABRAHEM LIENCIN RENEGADE NINJS,

Chapter 15: ANOTER PLOT EVENT

AN apparently that was faster than the speed of lite so ill just say he had a thumb

tackyon or somethin.

Liencin and me looked back at the rippling collapse of the ninja island wen ALL OF A

SUDDEN SIX COUNTRIES SHIPS CAME AND THEY FIGHT!11! But that didn't mater

couse we were leaving. But when i looked back at lincon his SOLE WAS DRIPPIN OUT

and some of it landed in the ocean. "Pretty gross lol" i said wile flying and I built a

robot ball jead to keep the soul in. Linen sad he licked it but his voice was different i

new i had to fix it. Then in 0.00000000002 nanosecants we were back! We wobbled

onto the land (neither of us were rely used to walking anymor, ok?) And we went jyal

arond the coast, up AND down looking for something toobdo, voice lincon and me

knew that sf'ing again immidiatley was jopeless ans we settled on telling pepol are

storY. It worked pretay well becaus what happoned was soooo wierd but probbably

also lincolonrls' blue allure of light atracting people. I made sure to seasin the talk wif

cool things and images lick how the stars were difreant on the ilsand and lots of cool

cutscences. Linco made sure to not say anything becos he got promoted to side kick by

being a ball. A person gatherd round after a few minuets and started try to draw in a

crowd but couldnt so he did it himself, also he was taking notes too. After eyebalin us

creepy for a while in the fog, I approached and started asking for avdice on the

stituation. Then Guy said, he couldn't help becaause he didnt got magiccal

suoerpowers like we did but we could ger his house as a base of operations wile we

were bissy involved... so us Trio walked home...

THE BASE:

Are new fancy base had lots of red curtains on the walls an i thot it would be a great

plase too stay; then a smell wafled in and I asked "Do u have a roomate making chile in

the living room?" He resplonded; "Actually chices thats just my popeurri, i got it to

make the hose even more fancier." So after lincoball

and me settled in i got to slepp

on the couch eating potperei bits an liencin got to be a decorative mantle

piece/nightlight i gess. After i was done munching pot pie and lino was done doing

whatever it turned tomarow! I eoined waking up and than i rembered i was on a

couch and that ruined the wakeup. I had som more pop'ri and went find linco. I went

of colfering dazed in the hallways passing by lots of rooms that i didnt kno, until finally

il saw a glimpse of linoball on the shelf. I stood standing on the doorway couse i

wasant sure if i wantad in or not. Lincoball

loked at me an started bushing. That made

me curios, so I started making small talk at him. So I sad "Hows the wether?" but then

relised that there probably wasnt any whether in the bedroom. He britished (A.N. its

ok thats how everyon talked back than) that even tho it was insid it was still relay

foggi. He and i hmmed in unison thinning about how that's posable, then I saw tat the

guy did an incense. "Wow this plase must be relay fancie and special." I said

0.0044503626. But lincoball

wasn't feeling so good. He must of been suspicioslus of

the incest in the are. For the time the Guy was out of the base, so I quick took Linen

and set him on the kitchen conter. He rolled around abit while I raided the pantri for

something to do. After perusing ovar a bag of lentil chipes and a pommelo, i askod if

linert had a preference. He said robo balls dont eat. I hmmed silently in my head,

thinking about all the learning that happons each day. I desided that mabye we didnt

have to steel food to have fun in an empty hosue. During the next few ours i started

trying gmaes to play wit linen. First i tried playin sorry but lino didnt actually seem

sorry, so I looked for another but none of the other games worked becos robotballs

cant run around ether. And sinse those bored games werent fun i had to make on

isted. So after making the peices with a log of driftwood and some riped up floor

boards e got to play fro a wile. But then... GUY CAME BACK! "EY WOT ARE U DOIN

WIF MY DRIFTWOOD" he elled uncharacteristickly. "Also lol i thought yuo wold do

military strategy not bord game stragety heh." He recapitated. Personally i wase gettin

kinna tired of all this myslef so I grabed lino ball and jumped down inot the hole in the

floor. But then Lincernal also started getting yellie about how it was dark and

dangeros. So I jus told him we would be fine wif my powars an his charm protecting us.

Then a spider. Came crawling all on my so i stood smiling throu my teeth and acting

natural to let it crawl on me more than go awry. Now i new what he was talking

about...

MEAn wHilE And BACk in TIME A bit

The evul presidant mr congries sciesentist began wondering what he could possibli do

to fix things. He nevar really licked the idea of a war effert. After some time he called

for an adviser by SHOUTIN ALOT , except no on showed up. He waited a long wile and

when he started getting thrown leg from watig to long he stood ups and shotted "oh

x******* (Athers Note: i dont care if he said it this is a noswer

zone pervearts) whats

going on?!) He paced arond his palace neevously doing more weight until he

noticed a. Ashen light coming through the windo. Well he was wrong but wen he went

outside it turnt out the City was being raized! And everythjng was on fire. Even the

sku turned red to mark the occasion(chivet should rite about that huh?) The lessun

pesent man lerned is that puuting your capital to close to a sworn enemy gets you

captured. So as it was, richmond army swept through the entire state of dc and went

making demands as soon as they saw the scientct president. And he couldnt just

invent another areplane and fli out of there because his resources got captured too.

He felt lick he was doomed to the mob infrontof hum, until, he had an idea...

To Be Continued.

OMG THIS CHAPTAR IS SOOOOOO LONG ITS ALMOST PROFESSIONAL QUANTITY!


	16. Chapter 16

Robot Ball Lincon: Renegatice Ninja  
ChEpter 16: bargaining  
AN I THINK MABE ILL MAKE A CHAPTER IN LINCO+BALL"S POV  
"So chines and me were sitting under the floorboards evading spiders for ages." ball  
lincon narrated in his head except britisher. Ans o Chives sat alone in the dark, with  
only the blue lit of linen to shine up the scarry basemant layer.  
Then they didant do anthing for ours whenn... A SOUND CAM RIPING UP  
MORE FLOOOR!1!11!1!1!1! !11112 and some guies steeped in an stated  
looking around until they're liter ammerged. It was... CONGRESSER SCIENTISM  
MAN! "Bu thow did you get control off the richmand confedirates?" Chices asked in  
shok. Linen wasnt evan hmming he was so scarred in trepiddation he didont do  
anything. Then the bad piesudant graped Robotballincon from my hands! And  
congresser scientiams sed infrontoff everyon "im gonna ripe his jead of!" But then  
he looked and saw that lino was only head so he was all "nevermind". The new and evil  
preseident knew he had to wow the croed with presentashun and style, so he threw  
lincoball  
to the crwod. After this, i coldnt evn see Linen anymore, so I dont even kno  
what they did wit jim. I was realy relay in shok, but than it all clacked. The Presidant  
was usin the promise of capturing link to get richmon on his side! There was noting i  
cold do exxept run off back to s/f and consult with notorn...  
To be continued...


	17. Chapter 16 12

RObot ball lincon: fate unown  
Chapter 16 1/2: California iii( serios this tim)  
A.n. ITS BECAUSE I NEED MORE CHAPTER  
THIS HAS AN EXCERPT OF THERE CONSERVARION (PROLBOY)\  
So the CHivet was runing of to Sam fram wen all of a suddenn... HE REmbered tha  
coin!1` %The coin was shony coper with releef but had blue and black oil stains on it  
dreesed up wif patina... He puled it out of his poket and though about it while walking.  
Than he made it to sF! (A.n. Chives a good endurance runer) After that he saw that  
sf became a battle ruin from all the fitin that still happoned! He relay had to work  
hard to distruct Nrorn from the strategy he was commanding against linen wifs. Chibes  
trid everything until he got gave up ans thru the coin at him... AND IR  
WORKODD!1!1212!1 NOROtn felt a ding on his head and truned around... then he  
said "Hi first mat ive just been enjoying the glory off war what are u up to?" and I  
told him everying... then Noron saud "Really lino's your friend now? how ot?" ANd  
all i had to say was how he got converted to ball and he understood it that fast. But  
then this opened up orpoertunity to talk about funy thigns that hapend to me and  
linen... lik how he wasnat sory but then tried to blame me somhOW!1!12  
`121~! And that mad me angary but i relay'd it anyway. Nortton starting laufin then  
almost got stabed but kept lafin caus' I was so funny. I also got to say how linc felt  
"Vulnerablu" sitin oin the counter roling around ans we scoffed! After all that I finaly  
convinced Noort that it was worth it going ovar to Navoda, or wherever to rescue  
linoBAll.  
ANd so we wear off walking for probably the fif time. I was shure we wold be  
fine with the deadly combine of hours of combat raining + all my stof. And so we wer  
of.  
OK I THINK THSI MAKS CH !^ LONG ENOUGH OK?  
WERE DO NORO and CHIVES STOPE ALONG THEWAY?  
WILL ANOTER SURPISE HAPPEN?  
HOW MUCH DO HOTELS COST NOW?!~?!  
FIND OT!


	18. Chapter 17

AMBRAm Lincol: REnedgad Ninja

CHAPTER ZEVENTEEN: CHIVES AND NOTOTN

A.N OK SO I FOND OUT THAT KICHEN'S HAVE SINCS WITH WATER AND THATS WHY LINO WAS AFRAID SORRY TO ALL MY ROBOT BALL FANS

As we begun are walk i was thinking to myself how this on is gonto be the most important, so i desided to walk in regal strydes wf Notoron. Jishua and me kept walkin and noting surprise happened at ol. The dri sidwalk went on an oan an on an it was daunting for shure. But he and me wenat on anyway. But then... A SUPRISE HAPPENEDD! 12121212!1113 but i gess it wasnt so surpsing after all, caus i dont rember it. (AN CHIES' NOT SO INFALIBLE NOW HUH CONCERTIVE CRITISM?) After the liishure stoped being fun and convserion died out a bit, I thot instead mabe i could fli their. sO i DID! And that was prety fu8n. But then, I rembered we had ot resue lineo ans that no fun! NOtoorn quikly relised that he relay wasnit a match for the VIrgina armys... the armi wenat chasin notron all ovar wich was relay funny but also gave me a chance to flank around back and find Linco-ball; HE was all down troden and covered in dirt from the stampede and i piced him up and said "Hey lino u wonot find norton?" And h e gav the ok sign. I felt really exhilatred trying to keep up with all the violins happening but it wasnt to bad so i ran back to the front and cot up wif Jjusis who didant seem to take ot so well. We conversled a little bit with me sayin "Hey look its the ball guy i wase talking about!" and he saying "I need to escape the confederite army somhow" all serious and since he regale I found a plase to hid. He and i and other He cam up on a hotel except it was WAY HUGER with fancie things and so big u cold sneak in an not get sean. So we did! First thing first i immediatly got in the hotub they had outsid. The Empower blessed the water kosher so he could go in to. But not linco ball becos he had some unresolved emotional prbolem wif watir or something... so i thru him relay hard in the the direction of garage so maybe a mechanic cuold polish him up! The only problem was that when i did that he actually got stuck on the roof! "OOPS" I sad, but I didant do anything sinse enjoying the hotub was more impotant. Noot mummed in agreement. But now linen kept complaining witch made it hard to hear the fancie string quartet playing, so affer maybe an our i threw him 20 dollers and told him to call a cab. Then i rembered cabs arent inveted yet. "Wow theres just so much trouble in a day." I thought to me and i prepared to stand up to retreeve linco (AN THATS RELY HARD TO DO WHEN THE ARE gETS COLD!1!) and used all my mental fortitude buthen Naruto distracted me!1!1!1!12! and i spent all day an knight distracted in that hotub wit the empire and forgoat about RobotBalLincon. Thenn,...,,...

TOB e CONTINUED!

O W OW THIS ONES GONNA MAK U WONDER ALSO TO MY FANS WHO GIVE ME GOOD REIVIEWS KEEP THAT COMING SOME MORE


	19. Chapter 18

Abraman Linceo: Renagranada Ninja

CHAPETEE 18: NOT SO STRANGE

A.N. OTS OK COMPLANER GUIES ILL MAKE DIALOGUE IN THIS ON!

I woke up very refreshed and kinna pruned from wetter wich i fixed wit my suoerpowers, then greted notonn to a new day in the patty-o. The sting quartet was still there playing and that mad me wonder if they were paid enought but my thooghts was cut shrot by shrill shoutin sayin "Ey Chives wot r u durian cume back here?" from linerd accept hes wasnt on the ceiling he was on the patii floor deck lokin up at me lik a werdo. "I had to survive up they're wit onli TWENTY DOLLARS! Not even metric ones! Chivea i jade to make a ladder out of that moni an i was STARVING cosue u can"t eat dollors! Yuo need ot lern responsabiti and not just mak things explode with your powars!" he kept chewing at me but all I cold think about was how linco-ball was being oppertunistic floor creep! "Lindert get off the floor u nasty!1!2!211!" I creemed an ran of insid... Noton was jus starin the hole tim but not creepy and he woke up and said "Wo." I think mYbe the quarter heard so they played a surprise twist music! But i didnt here it lol. Bach to the important stof it was pretty obvious that this hotel stay was going be relay AWKWARD! And a really funy thign hapened wen a staff saw I wasnit checked in... it was a chase sean all ovar again. But we had to go back sf. Except for one problem... that chasing with funny saxosone music left me stranded in the dark coners oFf SCARY HALL! Where the poer to the lights flicked off on by one until darkness incased me like dark chocolate. "Great now I wanat food." I complained obliviouskly as it echoed through the plase. I shure did a good jobe evading those staff but now my problem was was worse. A dark looming horror certainly laid nerby for the SECOND TIME TODAY!1!211 I wandered the corrador feeling up everything to keep the spiders of me. Wile feeling i fond a sign in brale that sad... "it is pich black. ub are likely to be eaten by a grue" and that soundod cary so i grappled the door to go in. Instead of finding a torch lick i excepted, it wase a BATHROOM! now i Knew what was going on,,, i sighed becaus it was just a video game reference grafiti. I turned up the gas light (A.N. this is the past so thats what it was!) and made a camp in a stall reading griffit until the power would come back on...

Excerpt

i 3 q+j

*±┘ªà _ **zà**_ __ _ **n**_ **ì!** **ó** Θ _÷Æ_

(i cant red it)

lik if you h8 this toilet paper

(sily person facebook isnt invented yet)

look left - u failed

-wow ripeof you stol that

-fit me

-im pragenant

and right after that i herd interruptin,... LINEN SOUNDS! "maybe is he pregnet" i lolled at myself, but after that before i could try and think of somthin they he and norton busted in! Linco ball I knew only wanted to yell more and I don't know why but Norton was helping! but he made light of the situation for certain. So I left the dark places with them in silence untill... joshia said "I stole this towel" and now it was awkward. hes good at that.

To be continued

ACTUALLY I THINK THIS ONE IS STRANGE BUT IM SURE FANS WILL LOV

THANKS CONCTRIVE CRITISIM


	20. Chapter 19

Abramamam Lincoln: Rendegrads Ninja

Chaapeter Nineteen: Encounters

A.N. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS ONE

So even before we got to our destinatoon for the final fight, the affects were showing op from far away... lots of earthquake rumbli sounds went on and i herd a car alram... i sighed and thryed to think back to whos fault it was. Alls this stof that haened only a few weeks of months ago was lost to tim... and that was pretty entense, but out of all Lincon probably felt the worse. Because he had to show his himself lik a ball to those fighters and he didont know what that would do and sins he couldnt ninja veray well it might not turn out so good... so anyway we kept nudging towards the scary direction ans no one saw it but a shadow followed me. Then i relised we wear wasting time not talking so I asked how we should division the country wen we got the job done. Actually this was not good idea because it sparked a old rivalry between they 2. With linen robo-schrilling words that hurt abit in the ear and Empire threatening to not cary him anymore, it was pretty bad. So I said "hold on pleas can we argue after we regain the throwne and maybe get dinner to?" So they backed down for awile. A boom sound fired off and a cople seconds later a shrapnel carina'd almost right inot is! "THAT WAS RELAY NOT NIS DESTRUCITIVE FIGHTING!" I shotted, wich drew alot of attention to me unfortnalty becose i was in a crowded plase. But I didnat step don. "YEAH PEPOLE U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT!1!1!1!1!" i chived loud. This aslo wasnt so food since what happened next is the shadow came out of the shadow and it was... A MACHINEY MADE BY THE PRESIDANT!(A.N. its a inside job!) And it ponted at me and exclaim "CHIVES... IS A... ALLIUM!" And all the pople were shoked by the reveal, evan tho it wasnt true theyd believe piesudant. "No im not a aleen" i sad but the properganda already set in. They alls had pichforks and hay needles and they wantad to KILL! there was no convicing them so it looks like theres more to have to fight. I determined myslef and i lolled my sleeves up and glanced a back at norton and lincon who i Was shure wold help. Then I...

To be continued, on last tim

LETS HOP THINGS GO WELL IN THE END OK?


	21. Chapter 20

Abraham Lincoln: Renegade Ninja

Chapter 20: Its the last one!

AN: WILL IT GOOD OR WILL IT SUCK? THIS IS THE LAST CHOPTER!

I faced the conspirocy truthers pepole who war up in arms, then everying froze. The sounds of frighth amplified, then SWANG right at us lick a tornado! Things was relay serious now that the cloud of linen wivs and nobilies made an early appearance. Then a shout cam from the fight cloud sayin "after all these moths as a mercenary, i will finaly get dominon ovar the county!" An everone gaped at marets reveel. Then the sounds drowned out by more fight. It staxked up extra fat with the residents of sf joining in but i cold see wit my science eye up at top wass... A JON BOOTH BRO! AND HE HAD LINCORS HAT!1!222 I ponted tjis out to linen wich made him say "now u done it" and on his command i through him up top to win thsi fight! I hafe to admit he coldnt relay do musch so lucy him i overthru so wen he cam don he came down HARD! And that surr concust the guy. The question off how did John get the stolen hat? Wod hav to wait, couse that fight cloud wasnt gon yet. But linen wit his newfond hate and inedible charm powered through nocing of ever oposer he had. The thornado swirled and swoled till Linco mad it allthe way to the CORE! Where his wifs was. I new that him confrenting Ann an Mart and Mariy Tod after changing hiz ways would be tough and who even knew what wold hapen to the power balance afer, so I gave him my moral suppert. But even efor Linen said his speech he planed: his wifs starred at him all robo and diversed him all ot the same tim

"Grape" i thot, now Lincot doesnt hav the famili connetion anymore. And now the angri pepole mad a stir of energy so big it started makin TIME PORTALS!11!21! I loked in one and it had the future in it! But I made sure to not fall in (AN U DONT WANT OT MESS UP TIME CONTINITY!) so I got all everyon and tok them too the paste insted... the first one was in acient time back before they invented talking so we all kept reel quite there. Then the second one was in the victorian era and that was pretay cool cos we wear on a zepalin and i think u cold see Russia up there is was so hi. Then we went to medieval and said hi to the pip. Cool dangeros stuff haponed that hole time and pepoe wer geting confused abot why the fight and it almost stoped whenn... the macchiato opened up and presidant stepped out! Now we nee wat to fite ovar. Maybe this contri wouldnt have a ruler and be split forevar but atleast it wouldnt hav the evul piesudant ether! Everyone though in head. "Yuo called me a alien!" I shotted with a Q's. Now it was on. The moment when peasany got up after being takle'd 200 times relay proved it wod be dificlut, evan with ol those guys willing to fite wif a aliem his training was to good. It sure seemed hopless to me, so i took a brake and had cofi in the one place in sam fram that hired a baristA eho wasnt conspiracy alienist. I askod him why and he said "Dont care, dont care." I was amazed at the power of his saying and also his rhyming skills. After i piced my brain up agen, I sad "relay? You dont even care who gets the country? What if Washington marchy happened and made you a slave?" Then he said "so? I'm already a barista" and that was pretay funny. Then a left and didant tip because he was probobly aslo a poet and relay rich anyay. I waked away takin looks at the scenery when i relised... I WAS STILL IN MEDIAEVAL!~12 221!1! And i freked out and wenat back to tim poral hopin no changes were did by that. I tried to fli but that didnt work apparently because the past was before i got my powers. So while I was marathoning around i had the brillaint idea to use this in the fight... I made it back and spent hours of years tryin to talk over the portal sounds until finally someone got it. I got a crowd chant movement going on to puersuede pople on what to do. When finaly everyone heard they all went into a certain exact portol i telled them to... "Perfect" i exclamid, when the portal only went us back a cople of yeers instead of to ancient times lik those other ones. The presidant of evil america was just a baby, and then everyone beat up the baby. The anger calmed down and in the end all the conspiracy people did the eye point gesture and went to their hoses. "I gess we can deal wit them laterr." I said and made it back at them. Then i turned to linen, noton and the former wives, excepting to see all a fight on who gets what; but instead they all got together and said I should get it ol! Because the fight ended from my idea, I guess they ow it all to me. We tok a portol to dc and I clammered up on the throwne to assume my position as leader of the america, but then... ANOTHER PORTAL HAPPENED AND WE I FELL IN!1~`212!2!321!1!

the end


End file.
